Grouchy Golf Blog

Tuesday, July 27, 2004 at 1:22 AM

Golf Brats

My local golf course runs a summer golf clinic for children ages 6 - 13. I happened to be at the range while some of the kids were hitting balls.

While most of them sucked, there were several really phenomenal swings. One little girl must have been only 8 years-old tops and she had a swing to die for. While she hit her driver only 150 yds., she pured each and every one. She had a great setup, Els-like tempo, and gymnast flexibility. "A young ," you say? Well, that's exactly what I thought.

Unfortunately, watching this future LPGA Hall of Famer only depressed me about my own swing. In fact, after a couple of bad shots I was too embarrassed to continue. I thought, I've been playing this friggin' game for longer than this kid has been alive, and yet she makes me look like I swing the club like Charles Barkeley. Should I quit and just write about golf in a golf blog? I decided to play a round, hoping to find my swing somewhere on the course.

I joined 3 other hackers for a round. Luckily, none of these guys were better than me, so my confidence was bouyed. None of us played well and we were all at least 8 over after 6 holes. The 7th hole is a par 3 and it was backed up as usual. I struck up a conversation among my playing partners about the state of our games. I learned that we were all in the same boat, all of us fruitlessly trying to improve failing golf swings. I felt better knowing that I wasn't the only one to suffer from a "slump."

As we were commiserating with each other, an 8-year kid from the threesome behind us walked up to our teebox and proclaimed ecstatically, "I'm only 2 over after 6 holes!" He had a look on his face that said, "Isn't that great! This game is so easy. Soon I'll be better than Tiger!"

Well, nothing eats at your craw more than someone boasting about their golf game when your's is headed to the sewer. Now you can imagine how much of my craw was left when a kid, who still has 5 years until he can see "," is doing the boasting.

My playing partners were nice enough to praise the kid for his score, but there was no way I was kissing his little arse. I grumbled, "WTF, how the hell could this kid be only 2 over. Is this game really that easy? No way. His parents must be fudging the score to make him feel good." I looked at the kid's parents in disbelief and they only smiled proudly. I rolled my eyes as I set my 8-iron behind my Pro V1.

I struck the ball well, and hit the green. "Nice shot!" exclaimed the little golf devil. I flashed a stupid , but it still didn't make up for this latest cruel stunt pulled by the Golf Gods...

Blogger Jat said...

I think pretty much the only person not in a golf slump right now is Todd Hamilton.  


Blogger Goose said...

Been there, brother. Kids today and their fancy golf swings. at least we can buy beer...  


Blogger Erik @ The Sand Trap said...

Golf to a kid:
1. find the ball
2. hit the ball
3. repeat as necessary

Golf to an adult:
1. find the ball
(middle steps omitted in the interest of saving space)
57. try to find the ball
58. repeat as necessary

Golf is easy to a kid. They're not afraid of losing a ball. Or missing a putt. Or thinning a shot out of a bunker. They're not playing for pride or a $5 nassau. Not typically, anyway. :-)

You'd do well to learn from the kid. Just walk up and hit a shot.  


Anonymous Scott Coles said...

golf is like life.....u have gd days and u have bad days....but wen u have a very gd day u remember it for the rest of your life...says me aged 15.....i think roy "tin cup" macavoy sed it best......wen a defining moment comes along u have 2 choices....define the moment...or let the moment difine you....have fun shooting 82's.....o and in case u is wondering my handicap....6.2  


Anonymous Don said...

I have to agree that golf is easy for kids. I'm one of those kids who played golf at an early age and I've been playing for the last 30+ years. As a kid you're a spong and anything and everything sinks in and stays with you. The muscle memory stays with you a lot more when you start anything at a young age. To this day I can have a layoff for 6 months and then practice for about a month and get my handicap down to a 3 or 4. I'm not trying to boast, but just proving the point :)  


Anonymous Anonymous said...

i am one of these 'little golfing devils' as i quickly embaress any of my adult playing partners by knocking my long irons past their drivers, but its good to know how some of them feel, and now i relise how, though all the guys are really supportive theyre probably really wanting to wrap there clubs round my head

i'll take all of this into consideration next time i'm with some over supportive playtin partners

hehehe... my handicap - 6 - aged 16... just to make ya'll feel gud about yourselves  


Anonymous mike said...

is that what you call us kids golfing devils? im only 14 and a week ago i was golfing at one of our city courses. me and my dad were paired with 2 big dudes atleast 6 feet tall. they kinda mumbled as me and my dad walked to the back tees. "we'll help you look for it bud" when i hit it left side of the fairway and he duck hooked it in the crap. he and his partner quit after nine. they were +7 and +9. I was +1. =P

" we have... uhh .. hair appointments. "  


Blogger chefsheila said...

now, now...let's notforget on of the icons of the time-Tiger Woods- was once considered a gold brat.  


Blogger DS said...

She's just a kid, wait till she gets older and the game gets into her head.  


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