Grouchy Golf Blog

Thursday, January 08, 2009 at 4:08 PM

Phil Mickelson Man Boobs Authority?

I've read that search engines account for more than half of all internet traffic. It's not surprising to me since that's where most of the traffic to this site originates.

What is surprising are some of the search terms that return this site. One of the most popular terms is "Phil Mickelson Man Boobs." I kid you not. I don't know what is stranger - that so many people are searching for information on this topic or that search engines have deemed this site as one of its best sources of information.

Out of curiosity, I Googled "Phil Mickelson Man Boobs" to check out where this site would turn up. Lo and behold, Grouchy Golf was at the top of the search results!

Phil's dopey plastered-on smirk has been fodder for several posts on this site, but there's been nothing that addressed his growing chest problem. There has got to be better information on the internet for people researching Phil's busty assets. Unfortunately, after clicking on some of the other search results, I realized that there was simply a dearth of material on this titillating topic.

Sensing an unsatisfied need by the general public, I was determined to fill that need. After some in-depth research, I found the answers straight from the horse's mouth:
I will always have fat on me. There's nothing I can do about it, just genetics. As I said earlier, I've got subcutaneous fat. And most people who are ripped have visceral. There's nothing I can do it. It just lies underneath the skin as opposed to underneath the muscle. And as long as I feel better and get stronger, then I can't really worry about, you know, body fat.

- Phil Mickelson
There you have it folks. The reason for Phil's full figure is subcutaneous fat. But blaming genetics? Mr. must have been adopted because his immediate family — mom, dad, brother and sister — are all thin. Regardless, this site is proud to provide the best information on the topic of "Phil Mickelson Man Boobs". We will be sure to keep you abreast of any future developments!


Blogger 14 STIX said...

Hilarious post, GG. I can't believe FIGJAM mentioned the manboob thing. The guy didn't even really ask him about it directly. Rumon is that in '09 FIG will be sponsored by the Perfect Pushup (the workout tool, not the bra...).  


Anonymous dhammett said...

Why can't you grow up? Picking on people's physical appearance? Really? You're nothing but a tiger shill.  


Anonymous dhammett said...

Well, I guess that's one way to operate a blog...edit out all the negative comments. This will probably not see the light of day, either, but picking on somebody's appearance is so immature. I came to your blog because I like golf, but you're a tiger honk and you have no class. See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya.  


Blogger SwingLoft said...

If only Phil didn't take such big strides while walking down the fairway maybe the golf world wouldn't have noticed his man-boobs as much! Hilarious post!  


Anonymous mediaguru @ HookedOnGolfBlog.com said...

I agree. Some of the search terms you find on your own sites are probably more entertaining than the content itself! Some of them can be quite disturbing...

Hey that reminds me... I need to go embed some hidden "Natalie Gulbis Nude" text in some of my posts.



Blogger Golf Grouch said...


Negative comments are not rejected nor edited in any way. The only comments that are rejected are those with unauthorized outbound links.



Blogger john said...

Instead of making fun maybe you should offer support...no...wait...instead of tearing the man down you should be lifting him up...uh...no...say what you want about his choking with the driver, when it comes to his short game skills he's got a great set...damn it...CAN'T WE JUST CELEBRATE THE MAN?...He's a beautiful figure in the world of golf and has two beautiful girls that he should be very proud of.  


Anonymous Keith said...

how did Phil get that answer from this question

"Now, are you strong -- how much stronger are you? Benching more? Or are you -- do you notice a difference in body change?"

I know I am getting older but I don't see the word fat once it that sentence. Unless 'a difference in body change' = fat. But blaming it on genetics. When he won the Tuscon Open as an amateur he was definitely not fat.

However I love the question that followed up that answer:

"So it's not really my fault I'm fat. Is that what you're saying?"  


Anonymous Pebbleby15 said...

GrouchyGolf - great post. It's hard not to pick on Phil...he's such a tool that it's irresistible...after doing research on Phil's illegit child, you should also look into why Ford dumped him as a Sponsor...I think SI was ready to go to press with a story on major gambling issues for Pheel...Ford threatened to pull all advertising from SI...so the story never ran and Ford decided to politely step away from FIGJAM...Callaway stepped in and took on his gambling debts (ala John Daly)...  


Blogger All About Golf said...

Very interesting article, i have bookmarked your blog for future referrence  


Anonymous Anonymous said...

90% of golfers have man boobs. Still wondering why?  


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