Grouchy Golf Blog

Monday, May 14, 2007 at 10:23 PM

Justin Timberlake, Take Your SexyBack!

Not that the PGA really ever had sexiness to begin with, but it sounds like Justin Timberlake is intent on bringing it back. A couple of weeks ago, an unnamed source close to the star said, "Justin is a very keen golfer and he's playing to a very high standard now. His aim it to take it into a pro event - just for a tournament or two. He practices every day, has a coach and takes his clubs wherever he goes." The rumor persists here in LA-LA land.

The nerve that this arrogant sumamabitch thinks he has even a minute chance to make it on the PGA. Somehow being a Musketeer, fronting a boy-band, bedding a few Hollywood's A-listers (including the ), and winning a couple of Grammys has convinced Timberlake that he can do anything. Currently a self-proclaimed 6-handicapper, he is clearly suffering from prolonged delusions of grandeur.

I, for one, hope that this megalomaniac tries to make it to the PGA. I will laugh with glee for days when Q-School (if by some miracle he makes it that far) thoroughly humiliates him back down to earth. His ego-adjusted handicap of 12 is about even with my true handicap. When I tried to play one of Q-School's courses, the Stadium Course at PGA West, it whipped me silly. I happened to play the best golf of my entire life on that course, and yet I still could only muster up an 89 from the middle tees! If I had to play that course from the tips with a tournament setup, I doubt that I could break 100 with my A+ game. That's what's in store for the Mr. *NSYNC. If he is cocky enough to pursue the PGA, it will be far more embarrassing than Michael Jordan's attempt to make it to Major League Baseball.

Just the notion that he thinks that he can hang with the pros supports his position atop US Weekly's biggest ego list. According to the entertainment magazine, "(Timberlake) has claimed that McDonald's shares climbed 25 per cent when he walked into their offices and changed their image." I'm sure that the Golf Gods can't wait to strike down this überposeur and start singing, "Bye bye bye!"


Wednesday, May 02, 2007 at 12:04 AM

It Must be Great to be the Skipper

Pro-Ams are a cool way for hackers to tee it up with the best golfers in the world. Being able to is one reason why golf is so special. While pro-ams can be a bore to watch, it must be a tremendous thrill for those amateurs lucky enough to participate.

I would die to play in a PGA pro-am. Having the opportunity to compare my game directly to a real PGA tour pro would be just mind-blowing. The amount that I would learn from such an experience would be priceless. Just would be great!

From what I’ve read, most pro-ams have a "pairings party" with a drawing to determine the pros that the amateurs get to spend 5+ hours of quality time together. So, if you are especially fortunate enough to play in a pro-am that Tiger Woods is also playing, there's a possibility of playing a round with him! To anyone who considers himself a golfer, scoring a tee time with Tiger is like winning the lottery.

In that case, Skipper Beck must feel like he just won the Powerball. You see, not only is Skipper playing with Tiger in today's Wachovia Pro-Am, but the third person of their threesome is Michael "Air" Jordan! Yeah, you read that right: the Michael Jordan of golf and the Tiger Woods of basketball. Can you imagine spending most of your day playing golf with arguably the two greatest athletes of our generation? To say that this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity is an understatement.

Just who is this Skipper Beck? From what I can gather, he's a high-roller who inherited a Benzo dealership, married a blond bombshell, and hobnobs with Charlotte's upper crust. In short, this guy's life doesn't suck. The fact that he is playing in every sports fan's dream threesome on top of all this makes me wonder whether he sold his soul to the devil. One thing is clear: just like it was in the Sixties, it's much better to be the Skipper than Gilligan.