Comments on Grouchy Golf Blog: Viewer Mail! Jorge writes...

I was at a range in Northern Kentucky and these tw...

2005-05-08T08:20:00.000-07:00

I was at a range in Northern Kentucky and these two morons were planning each shot based on the course they normally play.

moron 1: "OK, here we are on number seven, know how it bends to the left?"
moron 2: "No, seven bends to the right, past that little brook..."
Moron 1: "No, that's nine..."

So, once they got that figured out:
Moron 1: "So what we want to do is hit a nice fade to the right"
Moron 2: "No, a draw goes to the right"

and on it went. Once they agreed, they'd step up to hit the shot they'd envisioned and each shot was almost indentical to the one before it: giant slice.

Lately, my local range has been overrun with loudt...

2005-05-07T19:17:00.000-07:00

Lately, my local range has been overrun with loudtalkers and their friends. I'm used to their normal mutterings. Lately, it's unbearable. All have been struck deaf AND HAVE TO MAKE SURE WE ALL CAN HEAR HOW THEY REALLY CLOBBERED THAT ONE HAHAHAHA. WTF? I never go when it's crowded. That's just doom. There can be no effective concentration in a gaggle of blurting sheeple.

What can I do about these idiots? I refuse to fight someone dumber than me, so I don't confront them with it verbally. I usually pick up my balls and move to the closest quiet zone. I mutter "shut the FUCK up" semiaudibly so they might subliminally get the clue. Maybe if I brought an airhorn can, wait for them to emit a nice irritating 90 dB guffaw, and blast at them with a 130 dB toot while smiling maniacally. I'd make sure they don't look anything like Michael Douglas before I do this. I have a feeling if I did that they'd shut the fuck up.

Hilarious!!!

It's so true. The clowns that ...

2005-05-05T23:19:00.000-07:00

Hilarious!!!

It's so true. The clowns that worry more about how they look and how expensive their gear is always have the worst swing.

I have a problem too, an intolerance to stupidity.

I always get these jokers in front of me at my local muni who take 10 practice swings before shanking one into the trees. I can't help but start firing warning shots across the bow of the USS Slowplay.

If I had an experience with a guy like that on the chipping green, I think I would be in-advertantly shank 1 of 4 in his "comfort-zone".

Real funny story... i'm the dude with the visor an...

2005-05-05T20:04:00.000-07:00

Real funny story... i'm the dude with the visor and I had a feeling you were the one that messed my stuff up... sorry that you don't like my outfits... but i'm just as freaked out by your pink stand bag...

just kidding... great story...

BogeyMan

You find guys like him all the time in nearly ever...

2005-05-05T19:08:00.000-07:00

You find guys like him all the time in nearly every corner of the world. They come in like a bad orange and soon more and more people will somehow behave like them in retaliation. But it makes me laugh when you gave him the brownish mud all over his brand new gears. hahahahaha!!!!

I don't know anything about golf, but I love stori...

2005-05-05T04:23:00.000-07:00

I don't know anything about golf, but I love stories about idiots. Good one!

No kidding. The guys that dress up like that are ...

2005-05-04T12:37:00.000-07:00

No kidding. The guys that dress up like that are always the worst at golf. I remember playing a par 3 course with a friend of mine one time when this man wheeled his cart up to the tee with us. He seriously had like 70 clubs in his bag, and wore those golf knickers with the socks pulled up.

I figured he had to be pretty good and he was the only one playing so we told him he could play through. He had an extremely long pre-swing routine taking forever to hit the ball. When he finally did he skulled it about 30 yards. I think he shot like a 10 on the par 3 hole. We were stuck behind him all day long and it took us 4 hours to play a par 3 course that normally would take us both an hour and a half.

Last time I ever make that mistake again.