Grouchy Golf Blog

Thursday, January 08, 2009 at 4:08 PM

Phil Mickelson Man Boobs Authority?

I've read that search engines account for more than half of all internet traffic. It's not surprising to me since that's where most of the traffic to this site originates.

What is surprising are some of the search terms that return this site. One of the most popular terms is "Phil Mickelson Man Boobs." I kid you not. I don't know what is stranger - that so many people are searching for information on this topic or that search engines have deemed this site as one of its best sources of information.

Out of curiosity, I Googled "Phil Mickelson Man Boobs" to check out where this site would turn up. Lo and behold, Grouchy Golf was at the top of the search results!

Phil's dopey plastered-on smirk has been fodder for several posts on this site, but there's been nothing that addressed his growing chest problem. There has got to be better information on the internet for people researching Phil's busty assets. Unfortunately, after clicking on some of the other search results, I realized that there was simply a dearth of material on this titillating topic.

Sensing an unsatisfied need by the general public, I was determined to fill that need. After some in-depth research, I found the answers straight from the horse's mouth:
I will always have fat on me. There's nothing I can do about it, just genetics. As I said earlier, I've got subcutaneous fat. And most people who are ripped have visceral. There's nothing I can do it. It just lies underneath the skin as opposed to underneath the muscle. And as long as I feel better and get stronger, then I can't really worry about, you know, body fat.

- Phil Mickelson
There you have it folks. The reason for Phil's full figure is subcutaneous fat. But blaming genetics? Mr. must have been adopted because his immediate family — mom, dad, brother and sister — are all thin. Regardless, this site is proud to provide the best information on the topic of "Phil Mickelson Man Boobs". We will be sure to keep you abreast of any future developments!